can i start again tomorrow or is this denial?

so i did purge tonight. of course i did...i would not have been able to sleep with the amount of food i had consumed. i feel so clean after a purge in a physical way but dirty on a spiritual level. i would like a chance to be completely honest here on this blog. i do not want to sugar-coat things as i do with my best friend when she asks how i am doing or even my therapist whom i am afraid of disappointing. i crave self-honesty. i think it is the only chance i have. --jackie