alone time

i did something that i have been wanting to do for a long time: i did nothing! on a saturday night, i chose to go home and veg. and you know what, i feel a thousand times better this morning on sunday and going into the work week. my life needs more balance.

i shouldn't say i did nothing. i went through 4 months of receipts and bank statements and filed things. but i felt so much better after. of course it was painful to see just how much money i have spent on a binge food but i needed to face it.

i am on a new kick today! last night, i called my best friend caroline at 11:00pm and said that i would be checking in with her tonight sunday about a b/p free day. i will take it one day at a time but my goal is to go into the holidays and new year with much healthier behaviors and feeling better. i am so fatigued lately and i feel the effects of the bulimia on my body. i guess i am really not 19 anymore. i am tired of leading a double life. it is too isolating.

i have about 15 social worker newspapers/articles to get through today that have been in a major pile since my relapse last spring. i do not expect to get through all of them but a good chunk. and i am going to church in an hour. i need God in my life , i miss Him. and i know He welcomes me back with open arms.

wish me luck gals/say some prayers or send me good energy my way! thanks for all your kindness! will check in again tonight!