Day #2
i am back on track. at least i am trying. just got home from a full day at the hospital and saw two clients for therapy at night. both were males and currently at the emotional level of adolescents. both have courage admitting they need help. both are alcoholic; in fact one is dying from alcoholism, has brain atrophy from drinking so much over the last 18 years and is at risk of seizures should he drink and attempt to detox at home. he is only 30 years-old.
i really need to get serious about my recovery. enough is enough. it is just so hard the first couple of days. i want to be healthy for my clients. my passion is my work and if i am throwing up everyday, how can i expect my client to stay sober?
my plan tonight is to take a walk, eat a snack, watch a little tv and go to bed early. i have Date #4 with paul tomorrow, date #1 with another paul on Thursday and i am going alone to a classical piano concert at the paulist center in boston friday night. i don't care about going alone. i am of the belief that if i do things i love, even if i do them alone, i will more likey enjoy the present instead of obsessing about the future. (and i may attract someone who has the same interests!!)
ok am starving right now but i have these anorexic rules about no eating after a certain hour. today for breakfast: i ate a cup of lowfat plain yogurt with a cup of kashi cereal and 1/2 cup of berries; for lunch: 2 pieces of wheat bread, a big salad with lots of veggies and a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese, real dressing with olive oil (only 2 tablespoons with extra vinegar), and an apple; for a snack: a cup of cantelope; for dinner: another big salad with 3 veggie meatless balls for dinner. and i am starving. i suppose i should have more fat in my diet, maybe some almonds. i suppose i could eat some more fruit or maybe one of those lowfat bags of popcorn that are like 130 calories. i don't know. i can't stand these food decisions, especially when i am tired.
i give you all my word though: No b/p at least for today. will worry about tomorrow during tomorrow.
posted by Jackie @ 4:32 PM
8 Comments:
Good Job, Jackie! You can make it thru. One day at a time.
You're right, if you can heal yourself, your ability to heal others will be much greater.
thanks palm tree. your blog is one of my favorites. i do not always respond but i read it everyday. we share many of the same obsessions.
Thanks, Jackie. That's funny because I'm always thinking "who the hell wants to read this blog?"
AWESOME!! You're off to a good start. When I'm watching what I eat strictly, I eat brown rice...it's a good healthy carb, and fills me up. Give it a try, not plain though...I always saute some onions in olive oil, mix the rice in, add a can of corn and a can of black beans, or just a can of chickpeas...super fast and easy....and not fattening.
Keep us posted.
Love,
Frida
PS: the story of the 30yr old alcoholic is so so sad...
That is very sad, about the 30 yr old alcoholic.
Hi Jackie,
I came across your blog through Dr. Stacey's and just finished reading every post from beginning to end. I can identify with you on so many different levels I'm not sure where to start -- from the obsessive/compulsive online dating behavior (I have SO been there, done that!) to the binge issues (though I'm a binge eater who never throws it up...another problem all together). I just wanted you to know that you have another friend out there and that I'm really rooting for you. One suggestion I wanted to make to you, too: have you ever considered not setting a deadline for yourself with regard to the b/p behavior? One of the things that took me a long time to come to terms with, but that has been very freeing, has just been to take it a day at a time. I found that planning to NOT binge, was not much different than planning TO binge, and that when I took away my ability to plan, suddenly I had to live in the moment -- a little scary, I admit, but helpful when approaching recovery. Just a thought for you... Anyway, hang in there! I believe in you!
just whizzed by and wanted to say hi!
=) good luck on recovery!
Hope you are doing well. You have such an ambitious attitude, keep it up!
Post a Comment
<< Home