better today

i need structure in my life. i am back at work and very busy. when i think too much, i get in big trouble. the mind is a dangerous place as they say in AA. i am trying to be focused on my goals and to not pay attention to negative thoughts.

last night when i got home from work, my roommates surprised me with champagne, gifts, cake and flowers. since i had already had frozen yogurt with a friend, i felt somewhat obsessive about the ice cream cake but i had a small piece and was committed to not make it into a b/p, especially on my birthday. i woke up today with my stomach flat as ever. they cheered me up and i went to bed feeling better.

i will not let a small slip on sunday that was born out of intense emotional pain to define my recovery. my goal is to have a few months of sober time behind me for the holidays. i hate bulimia and how it takes over my life.

will write again later.