Constant obsessions

1 month tomorrow, God willing. I wish I could say the urges have gotten easier but they have not. I suppose they are easier in the sense that there is not the option to give in to them but I am forced to ride them out. I am OBSESSED with food. I can't sit still or concentrate. I am a restless soul. If I have something to drink or eat, I feel better. But who can drink for 2 hours straight and there are only so many vegetables one can consume. As it is, I have such bad gas pains and the bloat is terrible!

The truth is I have never not been restless, except maybe when I was young but even then i had high-grade anxiety and distress relating to the family dysfunction.

I still maintain there is no way I would have made it through grad school without my bulimia. When I binge, I am calm and focused. I can work through negative feelings without food but the restlessness for no apparant reason is the most difficult.