Willing to be willing but unable to stop

About my bulimia and other people/romance addictions...

Thursday, July 02, 2009

I am back!

Not sure who at this point would be reading this but need to start writing again. I have 3 weeks and 1 day free from bulimia. I have had ups and downs, mostly downs the past 2 years. This is the first time in 2 years that I have been able to gt more than a week!

I an getting married May 29, 2010. Those of you who had read my earlier posts know how obsessed I was with finding the man of my dreams. Well I found him! Not sure he is whom I pictured my life with but I feel as though my dream have come true.

I have vowed for the past 6 months to begin a strong recovery program so that on my wedding day and days after into my marriage, I would be present. My mind would not be obsessed with food. I would be feeling joy to the fullest. I would be in the moment for once.

Not sure why being in the moment is so scary. I am so restless, ALL THE TIME. The seconds go by so slow. I have an anxiety about time.

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